internal conflict.

i guess when i wrote 'memories', it was a mere reflection. from both experience and the lack of it, came fear. it's really a whole new environment to be in a school where you barely know anyone cos i didnt have much transition from pri to sec. yes, you have some friends and some whom you never really spoke to so it's really awkward. but i never thought that the poem would honestly make so much sense in real life. it's truly a filmstrip of events speeding through the reel of life, a reminder of joy which serves as a balm which soothes the fears. it's seems so surreal that i'm no longer surrounded by people i know, rather it's people from different schools - where perspectives and everything is very much a change from sc. well, i guess i've made many new friends.. i really love my og AQUILA 6. havent gotten to the point of being proud of my house yet. but this is as good as it gets. we appear to be the most enthu and sociable group, in fact the only group that really talks to each other and teases and have fun. maybe it's cos of the wide range of diversity... maybe it's cos everyone's willing to make new friends... maybe it's cos... i dont know.
the people are okay but my group's great. the school's fine. teachers seem pleasant.

everything's alright. just looking forward to the real fun next week - if it'll really happen.
but i still feel stupid.


did they really have to make us sound stupid in the nicest way possible?


maybe it's the way we were taught to aim high... it's just never prepared us to drop deep down so low.

on a much brighter note, it feels damn good to be able to literally fly home. i take 8mins to come back!! it's like 7bustops away... cool huh.

but it just doesnt take that lousy feeling away.

okay, i'm gonna work hard. damn hard. i promise.

i just thank God for all he's done.. and through this whole uncertainty, He's really carried me through in His own way. God's hand in all these has been subtle but when i look back, i realised that i couldnt have survived these 3days without His help. Thank You Lord.

this sucks cos it hurts like crap.