way too many tearful nights.

i'm sorry Lord for the thing i've made it, when it's all about You..

So I've been questioning.. running and hiding like a headless chicken without an aim.. Where was the salve, the comfort, the assurance? So lost in this harsh world. I forgot You'd give me comfort cos I ran away blinded by sorrow.. Losing sight of You as I bounded further away from Your security. Ashamed, I daren't run back for I'd run so far. But You drew me back when I withdrew deep into the wilderness, You found me tattered, torn and helpless. Healing is a process.. I've buried this treasure so deep inside they couldn't get it, but I've been beaten down so hard it's tough to look up to see the same hope again.. Hope in the world. The world is bound to fail you.. That I promise you..

Like a athlete on a race who's fallen down 100m from the finish line too tired to get up to carry on.. With a screaming coach and roaring audience pushing for the race to carry on.. The best that can be managed is a crawl to the finish line.

This mugging life has dragged on for too long.. The world's thrashing me upside down.. Every bellow telling me to "get up! move on! carry on" is equivalent to a shove back on the ground

It's a cruel race void of safety measures. Fall down and get jeered.. Everything's dog-eat-dog out there. But when you're down you see a different perspective.. "So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground" - Oprah Winfrey

Thought I could find solace
Only to get shunned
All actions harsh and all words terse
Well then I think I'm done

Cos it's more than a bad day
Everything's a mess
Break free and run away
Perhaps the pain'll be less

I was a fighter
Well back then I was
Fought anything like fire with water
But now I think I'd pause

Hopeless helpless meaningless
Degradingly sad but true
How'd it come to this, one wonders
But what am I to do

How'd you stand strong
When walls come crumbling down
When everything's gone wrong
How'd you turn it around?

and so you left it as that.