that being said, there are commendable works that do put it real eloquently and it's rare moments like these that i actually find a share-worthy post. (perhaps those avid "sharers" just find more works compelling?) a little part in me cringes though, because i blatantly defile my own stance, but i'm still human and a good piece of work is like an irresistible piece of good steak (oh the very irony for i don't even enjoy steak!). i've deliberately shaved off some chunks because it's too lengthy.
There’s A Difference Between Someone Perfect And Someone Perfect For You
(by Paul Hudson on Elite Daily)
I miss being in love. It’s such a horribly wonderful and wonderfully horrible experience. It’s a great state of reality to be living in. Everything is a little bit warmer, a bit brighter. Life all of a sudden has a purpose and a simple one at that: to love and to be loved.
Love cannot begin as a solution to your problems — if it does then it won’t last. The problems you have will either not disappear and the relationship will fail because you’ll believe it isn’t achieving its purpose, or the problems will disappear and so will your interest in the person you claimed to be in love with. Love should not come attached to any conditions. It should be an entity, a life of its own. It has to be something that survives no matter how much things change outside the relationship or how much more difficult life gets. It’s a tricky concept because a loving relationship consumes those involved and creates a reality that incorporates everything – a reality that latches on to all other aspects of our lives.
Some people toy with the question of whether or not they are in love for quite some time before they are willing to accept it. Falling in love is choosing to accept that you are in love. Being in love is choosing to be in love. This concept becomes more and more important as the relationship matures and as all mental and emotional intensity begins to numb. The excitement will wither, just like any other once novel experience. When it does, staying in love requires consciously choosing to love – deciding every single day that you do love this person and he or she does mean the world to you. Deciding to fall in love is much easier than deciding day-in and day-out that you still love this person. The more you get to know a person, the more you come to realize how flawed he or she really is. It’s funny because while we’re all searching for that “perfect” individual, the reality of the situation is that the perfect individual doesn’t, never did and never will exist.
We are all intrinsically flawed; it’s what makes us human. We can’t aim for perfect, but we can aim perfect for us. The questions really come down to what in a person we value most and what we value least. Sure, we all want to be with the best person in the world — our egos give us no other choice. But best is subjective. Once we understand that the person we are looking for is flawed, it makes things much easier. Outline what you need, what you want, and what you can live without. Many people are against this line of thinking because they believe it objectifies the person. Yes, you’re correct; it does. But what’s the alternative? Hoping that some magical concept of love stays present in your life forever? Stop dreaming.
Love requires work, just like anything else significant. People should accept that we all use each other and figure out how to do it as respectably as possible. But that’s a whole different topic. What matters is that you stop nitpicking on all those little flaws that really aren’t important to you and instead put more focus on loving all the great things about your partner. There’s surely enough great things about him or her that you can focus on without having to dwell on the negative. Don’t be so picky because perfection is an impossibility. Finding flaws is normal, but focusing on them is how relationships end. If you can ignore them, then do so. You’ll be happier for it.
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so there. i couldn't agree more, and it sure takes guts to admit that the person you're with isn't perfect.
but who cares, as long as it's perfect for you.
it saddens me to see people break off over petty things which could have nipped in the bud and addressed earlier on. love someone for who he/she is and accept that he/she will never be what he/she isn't. even a friend, who tells you he/she will change for you, for the better.. i won't and i can't say he/she is lying.. but chances are, it's not going to happen. if you love someone, whether platonic or romantically, you will accept the person. if the person changes, it's for themselves, because they genuinely want to turn their lives around. because of our intrinsic nature, it's much easier to do something for yourself than for others. you are not the factor for change, even if you did give them a kick in the bum, a knock on the head. so don't even try claiming the credit. on the flipside, it's even sadder to see people hanging on when the other has pulled away. as i've mentioned before, it takes two hands to clap. it's a very fine line though, between hanging on to revive the sparks, and hanging on when the flame is out and ashes grown cold. it's neither my position to judge nor to comment, but i just think it's real sad. we view the world through such different lenses, some tinted, others glazed, some magnified, others blurred. and so, my opinions cease here.
"first take the plank out of your own eye,
and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye"
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