hiding under the invisible blanket.

drafted exactly a month before october came. but now that it's actually here... it's a whole new issue.

Oh October
I wait with bated breath
Filled with anticipation
For that grand arrival
Hope that transcends all
Providing an answer
Affirming a passion
Give closure to inferiority
I implore a shining star
Onto that golden pathway
But only if You will it Lord.

that hope didnt last for long. anticipation didnt pay off. but yet, i guess i've accepted it. noone accomplishes much on the first attempt unless by fluke. beginner's luck, they call it. doesn't last and doesn't prove much to begin with.
the constant entrance into the whirlpool of fatigue is eating into me. i'm just tired of fighting on, though i can't seem to take that speck of dust out of the eyes. it doesn't mean that i have accepted, it means i have relented. it's approaching a decade and a half now, but i have yet to accomplish anything.
life is indeed a cycle. it's not a full circle from young to old. but rather, it's many circles, encompassing relationships, mistakes, achievements. sometimes one reaches the end of that circle and there is closure. at other times, the circle rotates continuously. in rare cases, they stop but restart again, like a sporadic cycle. just when things appear to be getting better, that's when trouble starts.
don't you think?

change. for better or for worse?