just let me hear Your finest whispers, as You gently call my name.

"isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different."  
C.S. Lewis in Prince Caspian

change is the only constant. some changes subtle, others just in your face. growing up. that's a huge change. growing up takes the impulse out of you. you've fallen down enough times to master the way of regaining balance in that mere millisecond just to avoid the pain of crashing on the ground, or maybe you just wanna avoid the humiliation. 

the youth that once carried the adrenaline in you as salve to wounds has grown up and taken the adrenaline along with it, together with any other forms of impulse as well. you grow up, you learn to hold your tongue, you learn to fight back tears, you just become a weathered rock. kids, they remain youthful because they scream and cry so they clear the air, make room to laugh and smile again. they bounce around, fall down, cry away the pain and get up to wreak havoc once again. because that's what life is, it's about moving along. and well, learning from your mistakes too.. something you don't really learn as a kid.

noone is stupid enough to open a bottle of carbonated drink after shaking it because it will explode all over. the pressure buildup bursts out at the glimmer of a space with less pressure, finding the fastest escape route. that is what happens when you bottle your feelings. they said you'd learn to deal with it when you grow up, you sort out your issues not cry over it: i.e. you wear knee pads so you don't wail over a scraped knee. but what if you crash enough so you become desensitized to the pain? saves you the fear of falling, and the fear of pain. question is, are you brave enough to brace yourself?

there's a thrill knowing you've reach the end of the ride.

the fear, however, is that the park has closed

and everyone has gone home.

without you.