shenanigans.

sometimes i really want to kick myself for the absolute propensity to muddle things up. the inherent human selfishness is sometimes such a thorn in the flesh. we build up such high walls to protect ourselves and then wonder why nobody cares. duh - they can neither see past it nor scale over it.

as much as i know the model answers behind faith and trust, being able to do it is a completely different issue altogether. but i thank God for giving me people who need some knocking sense sometimes, because i indirectly knock some sense into the equally numb skull of mine.

control and certainty. two things we often desperately cling on to. we feel the need to take control every aspect of lives, leaving nothing to chance or fate or whatever-you-call-it, but not taking control means uncertainty. i definitely am guilty of snatching control away because i'm bent on being certain what's next. it's just a human ego thing. so the upcoming blur is really chewing me up on the inside and threatening to drive me bonkers. yet strangely enough, the insurmountable unknown has also driven me, to a certain extent, to a point of heck-it-and-take-it-one-step-at-a-time.  it's just like one of those games that you're blindfolded and need to navigate around with just a voice guiding you. you blindly feel your way around till the first point, reach it and feel that gush of relief and secret sense of accomplishment, and then you're off to the next and many more to come until the finish point.

just a silly jungle bunny.