how blessed i must be to have loved ones that makes saying goodbye so hard.

life has been too much of a mad rush, leaving me fatigued and listless, unmotivated to lift a finger. yet, when i sit here aimlessly, i stare blankly at the whitewashed wall in front of me wondering what now? strange indeed. humans are strange, methinks.

when someone leaves some place, they call it uprooting - i know why now. it's like you pulling up a tree up, shaking it hard to free the roots from soil, and moving it elsewhere, covering it with new soil. shaking causes the loss of some leaves, losing pieces of you. and like the soil that you try so hard to shake off, some of it inevitably sticks, just like the habits and culture you came from, it mixes in with the blend of new soil, and eventually assimilates with the rest of the soil (i think.)

it's the final year, not yet a final goodbye, for i shall be back soon, for another goodbye. but i'm sure time will soar above my head, without me realizing it. i'm savouring the sweet taste of temporal freedom, the ability to sit and stare blankly without an aim, because soon i shall be staring at a screen, hopefully not blankly, and churning out a few thousand words as a goal - my new year resolution if you'd like.

and there goes another month.