the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.

chanced upon this lovely book in tassie, and though i didn't end up buying it, i sure spent loads of time hunting it down to devour it because it was simply too enticing. it speaks so deeply about friendship, most of which resonate greatly with my thoughts. as usual, i extracted excerpts to share only the juiciest bits, and even then this is still a considerable chunk.

Friends To The End 

 Bradley Trevor Greive
 

it makes me wonder, how can we possibly express what friends are really worth?
what makes friendship, especially a friendship like ours, so special?
...
there is a curious fact about friendship that we have always known but rarely acknowledge:
by understanding others, we also come closer to understanding ourselves
what we look for and value in our friends are the very same qualities we are most proud of
or wish were more evident in ourselves.
so in no small way, our friends tell us a lot about who we are.
and who we aren't.
...
genuine friendships are founded on a shared vision -
the view that our lives are somehow better because particular people are part of them
despite numerous differences, real friends see eye to eye on all the issues that matter.
our common values, passions, concerns, and mutual respect enhance our life experiences as a whole.
friends genuinely care about each other.
we can always count on our pals to watch our backs and look out for our best interests.
this faith in our friends grows as each of us helps the other move forward in life.
...
friends know when to offer serious counsel and thoughtful, heartfelt advice,
and they know when to say, "hey, why the long face? snap out of it!"
most important, friends know when to just sit quietly beside us and say nothing at all.
obviously, the best thing about our friends is that we have fun together. lots of fun.
...
thinking about losing friends, though it makes us feel incredibly sad,
is actually very healthy if it reminds us how special our friends are and that they cannot be replaced.
you could search the whole world looking for a friendship like ours, and you would only wear out a good pair of feet.
...
a real friendship is something we both have to build - in many ways it's a journey we take together.
the key to starting on the right foot is not to try an impress anybody.
no one can keep up the act forever, so you may as well just be yourself from day one - they can like it or lump it.
take your time getting to know each other. what's the hurry?
ideally, we want friendship with whom well grow closer and closer as we get older,
so it makes sense to invest a little time and energy finding out who they really are.
 ...
not all friendship turn out to be really rewarding, but if you end up in a stinker,
it's because you've compromised what is really important to you.
you cannot be there for anyone else if you are not first to yourself.
we all want and deserve a friend with whom we truly connect in a meaningful way.
someone who acknowledges our fears and limitations without judgement
and encourages us to reach further than we ever thought possible.
...
true friends make us smile as soon as we see them waving to us across a room they lighten our heart without even trying,
so that time spent together feels like a little slice of christmas.
with a real friend, we know exactly what they are thinking without having to say a word.
this connection is completely unique.
at times it's as if we are the only two people on this earth.
friendship is a special type of partnership based on the profound understanding that
together the impossible becomes deliciously possible.
it is an unspoken yet binding commitment to help each other live our lives to the fullest.

----

part of me still wishes i bought the book, because it was plastered with hilarious pictures of animals, illustrating friendship in the way nature intended friendship to be.

it's quite amazing that with each phase in life, the friendship circle grows outwards, but the inner circle of true friendship shrinks, holding only a precious few. each ageing milestone seems to act like a sieve, straining out the insignificant to leave behind only those who've been a large-enough part of your life.

i'll be there for you 

when the rain starts to pour

like I've been there before

'cause you're there for me too