the root of joy is gratefulness.

it has been somewhat of a hiatus, as inspiration stood still. sitting down to type has been narrowed down to assignments. being back sometimes feels less of a break than being alone, so many things to do, so many commitments to deal with, so many obligations. not that i don't appreciate these obligations, but when this was never meant to be a break to begin with, i am annoyed when people take this time i have back here to deal with my research for granted.

while watching A Tale of Two Esthers, this song gave me a perfect reminder. there is a time for everything. and even though my narrow mind tells me "this is a time for work", i know deep down "there is a time to rest" as well. it doesn't matter whether the road is full of portholes or a smooth as silk, in all seasons, there will always be a reason to be grateful.

There is a Time
(Sheila Ann Smith)

There is a time to live, there is a time to die
There is a time to plant, there is a time to plow
There is a time to kill, there is a time to heal
And in all seasons I will bless Your Name

There is a time to break, there is a time to build
There is a time to weep, there is a time to laugh
There is a time to mourn, there is a time to dance
And in all seasons I will bless Your Name

I bless Your Name, I bless Your Name
I give You thanks, I give You praise
Eternity and all my days are in Your Hand
And in all seasons I will bless Your Name

There is a time to keep, a time to throw away
There is a time to tear, there is a time to mend
There is a time to speak, a time to hold your peace
And in all seasons I will bless Your Name

You have made everything beautiful in its time

There is a time to hold, there is a time to part
There is a time for war, there is a time for peace
There is a time for hate, there is a time for love
And in all seasons I will bless Your Name

this song was inspired by A Time for Everything (Eccl 3:1-8,11) and composed so beautifully. and though we don't always know the reasons for the times we pass through, we know there is a time for everything.

There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

this "time" is so transient, and flies by quicker than one could ever imagine. just one more flight, till i'm done, for good. it definitely doesn't feel like two years ago when i was thinking about what was in store for me. it felt like so much uncertainty, it felt like a dream and a fantasy to pursue another degree abroad. it was a time of rejection and uncertainty, which led to a time of waiting and peace, to joy with anxiety, then nervousness and sadness, to excitement and happiness, then stress and busyness, which cultivated appreciation and confidence. life is a learning journey. that is the truth

it's hard to be joyful in the icy winter, but you can be thankful for warmth
when the cold disappears and gives way to spring, you can be thankful for nature's little wonders.
summer comes and you loathe the sweltering heat, but you can be thankful for fun in the sun.
when autumn comes and leaves start to fall, you can be thankful for the colours and the coolness of the air.
everything is beautiful in its time and in all seasons you can bless His name.

happiness does not make one grateful,

but gratefulness makes one happy.