when i count my blessings, i find so many things to be grateful for. this day is but one of them. and for just this one blessing, i'm sure i have 10,000 reasons, if not more, to be grateful for.
never would i have imagined that my 18-year-old relationship will be my first and last, that my heart would belong to that very someone for the lifetime ahead. i remember when it was all fine and dandy, when we used to worry that it was "too smooth". we untrusting humans tend to worry our little minds off when something is "too good to be true". i find it funny that our greatest trials were the times apart, yet can't actually pinpoint the cause. there was never a "you forgot to do xyz", or "why did you abc". i'm thankful that, most of the time, we learnt to give and take. i'm thankful that in most cases of my grumpy unreasonableness, i was blessed with true patience and cool-headedness. i often kick myself and wonder "why and how on earth does one endure me". it's beyond me, really, but it's a mystery that i will always truly be grateful for. of course, i'm sure good part of it has to do with the way we are wired. i've hardly ever seen XYs get caught up in petty mistakes. they just brush it off and move on. on the other hand, XXs harp on the issues and don't let it go, not at least they've given more than their two cents worth. that said though, i don't take on the burden of all the blame. it takes two to tango, motions of one stepping forward and the other stepping back, and at some point, that one will have to step back while the other takes the forward moves.
never would i have imagined that my 18-year-old relationship will be my first and last, that my heart would belong to that very someone for the lifetime ahead. i remember when it was all fine and dandy, when we used to worry that it was "too smooth". we untrusting humans tend to worry our little minds off when something is "too good to be true". i find it funny that our greatest trials were the times apart, yet can't actually pinpoint the cause. there was never a "you forgot to do xyz", or "why did you abc". i'm thankful that, most of the time, we learnt to give and take. i'm thankful that in most cases of my grumpy unreasonableness, i was blessed with true patience and cool-headedness. i often kick myself and wonder "why and how on earth does one endure me". it's beyond me, really, but it's a mystery that i will always truly be grateful for. of course, i'm sure good part of it has to do with the way we are wired. i've hardly ever seen XYs get caught up in petty mistakes. they just brush it off and move on. on the other hand, XXs harp on the issues and don't let it go, not at least they've given more than their two cents worth. that said though, i don't take on the burden of all the blame. it takes two to tango, motions of one stepping forward and the other stepping back, and at some point, that one will have to step back while the other takes the forward moves.
i came across this awhile back:
" 'The act of love is easy,'
I said, thinking of how simple it was to see a person, to feel strongly
for them, to want to be by their side, to want to give them everything. 'It’s loving that’s hard.' ... the
idea that love comes naturally, but loving, learning to love, learning
to find the balance between give and take, a combination of selfish and
selfless–-that was hard."
if there's anything i've learnt over these years is that it's actually love that makes things hard. if someone who doesn't love you, doesn't do something for you, you wouldn't feel hurt. if someone you don't love got injured out of sheer carelessness, you'd think it's tragic, but it wouldn't hurt as much, and you wouldn't get mad. if someone you don't love says something mean, you'd be upset, but it wouldn't hurt as much as compared to if someone you loved said it. it's because of this hurt that we lash back, we find faults, we pick fights, we hurt the very people we don't actually mean to hurt.
the thing is, while many like to think that this is only applicable to romantic love, it works very much for family love as well. well, in some part, that romantic love does eventually become 'family'. one takeaway that has truly stuck was this phrase: "pick your battles". i scoffed at the idea at first. but it's true, and it truly has been a good reminder. to find the balance between giving and taking, straddling between selfish and selfless - that, in itself, is a true art. mastering that will almost guarantee a successful recipe for fanning the flame of love.
the thing is, while many like to think that this is only applicable to romantic love, it works very much for family love as well. well, in some part, that romantic love does eventually become 'family'. one takeaway that has truly stuck was this phrase: "pick your battles". i scoffed at the idea at first. but it's true, and it truly has been a good reminder. to find the balance between giving and taking, straddling between selfish and selfless - that, in itself, is a true art. mastering that will almost guarantee a successful recipe for fanning the flame of love.
for all Your goodness i will keep on singing,
10,000 reasons for my heart to find.
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