the week's been indescribable.. in a not-so-good kind of way.
it's been eons since i stood alone there, listening and absorbing.. with my mind working at mega-speed x50.. trying very hard not to freak out. that old feeling came back once again. it was comforting in a scary sort of way that they were there but how i wish spongey was there was there to let me hop up and down and diffuse my panic to her. then again this would never again be possible and i have to find another outlet. then again panic should never be in my dictionary now.. professionalism is.
it was really by God's grace that He allowed everything to just flow along and the words to just snap into my mind. might have been too cheem but when your mind works at mega-speed x50. you're working at the highest level and efficiency to which your capability may serve. as such.. i'm just glad i got through it. before was an even more amazing feat, forming that whole setup alone.. pivoting to move.. working sth which i've never used in my entire life.. i think working with av is my comfort and close forte soon enough. after the past week, multi-task manipulation is a breeze.
coming across this on laugh&lift made alot of sense.. as to how we're slowly moulded into children of God but with no pain, how would you be pushed to the limit? like how we trainers said before 'no pain, no gain... no gain means you chaokeng' so yeah.

The Pathway of Pain
(Author Unknown)

If my days were untroubled
And my heart always light
Would I seek that fair land
Where there is no night?

If I never grew weary
With the weight of my load
Would I search for God's peace
At the end of the road?

If I never knew sickness
And never felt pain
Would I reach for a hand
To help and sustain?

If I walked not with sorrow
And lived without loss
Would my soul seek sweet solace
At the foot of the cross?

If all I desired was mine
Day by day
Would I kneel before God
And earnestly pray?

If God allowed no "WINTER"
To freeze me with fear
Would I yearn for the warmth
Of "SPRING" every year?

I ask myself this
And the answer is plain.
If my life were all pleasure
And I never knew pain -

I'd seek God less often
And need Him much less
For God's sought more often
In times of distress.

And no one knows God
Or sees Him as plain
As those who have met Him
On "THE PATHWAY OF PAIN."

mixture of excitement fear and doubt.