wave of emotions blended smoothly, waiting to be poured out.

Dear Lord,
Your plans are laid out here,
My path is set out clear.
So guide me there i pray
And nudge me if i stray.

putting everything in sentences and stringing them together seems rather impossible when sporadic waves of random waves engulfs you completely. when one thing sucks, everything seems to suck.

i guess i've taken your presence for granted,
thinking you'd always be there.
i suppose things to change...
people do too.
you did.
i'd never thought of your absence
on that one special day..
not until today.
i never thought i'd mind,
but maybe i do.
it seems you're not too bothered,
so perhaps i shouldn't too.
afterall, you've always been nothing but a shadow.

but there's always a rainbow after the storm..

those brown earnest eyes,
coupled with that silent demeanour,
never condemning,
always accepting.
grudges never held,
with a heart willing to forgive.
there's a warmth whenever you brush past,
a comfort as you settle down beside.
fondling those floppy ears,
caressing the fur coat turned coarse with age,
my troubles, they just disappear.
placing that greyed paw in my hand,
that's the best friendship anyone could receive.

while it's hard to praise and give thanks when you fall short of expectations, i guess i forgot to stop and think. who's expectations am i aiming to meet? mine? my parents? my teachers? my friends? or God's? and while i totally let carnality take the wheel, this reminder came straight to me: the choice to rejoice leads to an attitude of gratitude.

one coupled with another,
exacerbated by the other,
everything just tumbled downhill.
the surreal feeling's strangely familiar,
parallels just too much to the past.
that facade i've donned has worn out thin.
it's time to let go.

well.. the weekend allowed me to regain composure. to relax, let go, cut the nonsense of dwelling in the past and just trudge ahead into the present. i've realised that the fun in techteam lies not only in projection but sound.. the mixer is damn cool though a whole load of physics logic lies in it. but no matter.. being the only girl in sound seems to warrant teasing amounting to truckloads. i wonder which smartass came up with the stereotype tt guys, mixers and sound go hand in hand.. cos it's so untrue.